pokemon best wishes: the real first movie
by Iba
Summary: ash, iris, and dent have to save the world


ash and iris walked like normal people as dent let his bodalicious hips sway side to side. this boy totally had his swag on as the trio made their way through murder city. out of all the cities they saw on dent's map thing, this was obviously the safest-sounding city they heard compared to other places such as you'll get rich right when you step in this city and boner forever town.

when they were strolling through the city, ash got challenged to a battle by mr. black himself. as they were battling-

IT'S ALWAYS HARD WHEN THE JOURNEY BEGINS

HARD TO FIND YOUR WAY

HARD TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS

BUT THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO

'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT THE POWER INSIDE OF YOU

IT'S NOT ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE!

BUT YOUR HEART ALWAYS-

black couldn't handle the voice of a sweaty black man spewing sappy lines, so he quit the battle. ash pooted with excitement although he was going to lose since he was using a disadvantaged pokemon.

in murder city there was a dangerous guy except he fools everyone because he's rich. when the trio were chillin at the pokemon center, a giant dark cloud erupted from the sky, and a legendary pokemon or some shit started indirectly terrorizing the town. i dont feel like explaining what happened.

of course it was ash's duty to stop this, so he and his two unimportant friends went up this giant mountain to find-i dont know-a legendary cryogonal being pissed off because a legend said so.

it was especially because the rich guy who fooled everyone pissed it off because he was really a collector, and he needed to exacerbate the cryogonal to accomplish his real goal.

when ash, his weave, and sassy gay friend met this man, the man introduced himself as no other than vic micnyanyan the dan green collector. the three little queers were afronted by this.

"vic mcnyanyan, why are you doing this?" ash sputtered like a wild zebra as dent z-snapped his fingers. vic mcnyanyan took out his bible and threw it at the anti-christs, which just ended up sucked up in iris's hair.

"HISSSSSSS," her hair went.

vic backed up and found no choice but to tell his tale. "i have been looking for the legendary pokemon, dan green! he is all that i wanted, the most valuable treasure! because i am important!"

nobody else knew who the hell he was talking about, but they thought he was nuts. they had no other choice but to attack him, but when they were about to, an explosion underneath them happened. everyone fell to their death!

except not really. the cryogonal saved ash, iris, and dent by allowing them to grab onto its tears, and they flew over a river and through the woods and then back again right in front of vic, who was planting a bomb. vic scandalously skipped away as the bomb exploded. he realized this was a terrible mistake because there were millions of stairs towards his destination. he pulled out plastic angel wings and attempted to fly, but he couldn't do it since in order to fly he needed the power of yaoi. he didn't believe in yaoi.

he was fortunate, though, because iris's hair accidentally sucked him up as if it was kirby, corrupting iris to sputter passages of the bible and to scream at dent until the flying cryongonal carrying the kids made it to the mountain's peak. vic flew out, and he was about to make another run for it until dent pulled out his giant rod and hooked vic at the pants with one mighty swoop.

"IT'S TASTING TIME!" dent declared as he tried to lure him in.

vic mcnyanyan screamed, "THIS IS DEROGATORY!" and tried clawing at the floor, but it was no use. another random explosion happened.

and then.

dan green happened.

the ground shook with every step this legendary pokemon took. when the smoke wafted away, ash, iris, and dent prepared themselves before the pokemon they were about to witness.

it was a discombobulated mess made out of certain body parts from eusine, norman, wattson, byron, bastiodon, mewtwo, lugia, entei… and professor birch. ash saw professor birch inside and went, "professor birch, is that you?" and the monster just vomited and licked it back up and went, "I AM… MAMA."

the dan green monster lunged at them until dent called out stunfisk, which the dan green monster devoured. dent was about to use his cloche, but decided he didnt want it to suffer the same fate. he wouldnt be able to sleep at night without it.

TEAM ROCKET DID STUFF.

ash and iris did some stuff, too, but they all sucked. while shit was going down, celebi came out of an asshole from the sky several yards away and flew around like a douche, and the dan green monster ate ash. that was okay, though, because everyone was crying, and ash was saved.

the dan green monster realized the error of its ways and slithered back to where it came from.

vic mcnyanyan was sad. he said, "at least i have you." as he looked at his only dan green item he had: a precious door voiced by dan green as he opened and shut the squeaky door. oh yeah, the dan green monster came back and snapped vic mcnyanyan's neck before leaving again. everyone did a cheer as the cryogonal started playing the ocarina.

they got transported back to murder city by the power of cryogonal's ocarina. everything looked as if nothing terrible has happened at all, but nobody gave a shit and instead forced dent to make them all a sandwich.


End file.
